17
Oct

My Partner is a Hoarder. Help!

Living With A Hoarder Is Difficult

[Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/toxicboy/ / CC BY 2.0]

People often ask about partners who need help getting organized or decluttering, so I thought I’d address the question here. I was recently asked this question via my Facebook page.

How To Handle a Hoarder

Q.

My partner is such a hoarder! Any tips?

A.

There are a several ways to approach this, both for you and your partner.

Start by making peace with the fact that you can’t change someone else. In fact, if you push too hard your partner may become defensive, making the situation worse.

Instead, focus on getting what you need (perhaps a clutter-free space of your own?), modeling the benefits of hoarding-free behavior in your own life, and reinforcing positive change in your partner. The first post, below, is about working with a disorganized colleague, but the three tips are equally applicable to living with a stuff-loving partner.

For your partner, if and when they decide they want to address their habits, there are a number of ways they can tackle the challenge.

They might like to start with changing their mindset by looking at mental resistance and excuses. Or they might prefer to jump right in with simple fixes to get started.

It then becomes a small step to broadening the focus to their home, and going for short, 30-minute decluttering projects.

The Secret: Start Small and Keep Going

Unless you have the resources of a national television show at your disposal, don’t expect big changes all at once. Instead encourage your partner, when ready, to make a small start, and continue most days. That will be enough.

All of these posts offer simple strategies, so the barrier to starting is low.