Last September I turned 44. I was deeply relieved, as my year of being 43 was my. worst. ever.

But for all the rich suckiness that those 12 months contained, there was lots to be thankful for.

Thanksgiving seems like an apt occasion for reflecting on the good that comes out of the bad.

So here are my little thank-you notes.

Dear Fatty Bits

Thank you for sticking around so persistently for so many years.

If you had not been genetically, habitually, and psychologically entrenched in my life, I would never have had to work so hard and learn so much to break free of you.

Thanks to you I’ve worked out, in a deep and sustainable way, how to stay thin in a world of chocolate.

Dear Inane Movies

I’m absurdly grateful to you for taking over the film world so that great screenwriters feel good about moving to TV.

If it weren’t for your dross dominating the big screen, the small screen might not have been able to attract so much talent.

Because of your vacuousness, DVD box sets are now awesome and plentiful. You rock.

Dear Bad Times

Thank you for peppering everyone’s life.

It’s because of you that relief feels so sweet, that good times are so enjoyable.

If not for you, I doubt I would go looking for a better way to do something, or a different way to look at a situation. And because I keep finding these new ways, my life keeps getting better.

I know you’ll be back, and I’m not looking forward to it. But I am thankful for the changes you eventually bring.

Dear Stephen King

I’ve never read your fiction, but my feeling of malaise lead me to finally pick up On Writing, your 10-year-old memoir on, um, writing.

This book changed my life.

I read about your writing approach and it freed me to ‘trust the soup’ and be more creative and productive than I’d been before.

Thank you for the soup.

Dear Daddy

I can’t imagine how a girl could have had a better father than you.

I miss you all the time, but I’m grateful to have back the good memories in place of the anxiety and frustration that overshadowed your last years.

I can’t believe you’re gone. I don’t think I ever will.

I wouldn’t be who I am if not for you.

What’s In Your Thank-You Note?

I’d love to know what you’re thankful for this year – especially if it’s come out of something not so good.

Counting your blessings makes you happier, so it’s worth thinking about. Please share!

[Image by woodleywonderworks]

Related posts:

1. Giving Thanks: 5 Little Notes Of Gratitude
2. How to be Happier: A Scientifically Proven Strategy that Costs Nada
3. How To Change Habits: My 3-Cubed Formula

Happy Thanksgiving to my US friends! In the spirit of this day, I thought I’d share 5 things I’m feeling especially grateful for.

Remember, feeling grateful makes you happier – so think about what you’re thankful for, too.
(BTW – Have you downloaded your free Gratitude List?)

5 Thank-You Notes

Dear Mean, Mega-Ambitious Person At My Last Job

Thank you for being so nasty to the people in my department. Thank you for making it unpleasant to go to work every day. Without you, I would never have left, started a business, got a psych degree, and found work I enjoy way more. I’m so grateful to you.

Dear Cruciverbalists

Thank you for giving me a fun way to boot up my brain every morning. Both cryptic and quick, thank you for using your word-nerdery to challenge and delight, day after day.

Dear Friend Who Took Great Offense At Something I Said

Thank you for telling me you were upset with me, and not withdrawing, or sulking, or drifting away. Often my mouth is in fourth while my brain is still idling. Thank you for giving me the chance to realize what I’d said, apologize, and stay friends with you.

Dear Tarquin*

Thank you for making me delicious coffee every day – even on those days when I’m Miss Cranky-Pants. Thank you for never judging me – even when I’m ridiculously over-caffeinated. Thank you for simply making my coffee, with your unconditional good grace and your excellent crema.

*My espresso machine

Dear Extra 10 Pounds

Thank you for finally shoving off, and giving me a great excuse to buy a heap of cute new clothes. If it weren’t for you I would never have found that fabulous blue dress, or those cool motorcycle jeans.

What Are You Grateful For?

Please share your thank-you note in the comments.

I’d love to know what you’re feeling thankful for!

[Image by aussiegall]

Related posts:

1. So Long 43, And Thanks For All The Suckiness
2. Gratitude Journal Template: My ‘Happy’ Thanksgiving Gift For You
3. Social Networking: 5 Simple Steps To Organizing Your Social Networking (With Free Notes)

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so it’s a great time for me to say a heartfelt thank you to my customers and readers. I really cherish you guys. And your intelligence and striking good looks are without parallel.

Anyway, here are 2 little Thanksgiving-y resources from me, to help you to be:

• More organized
• More thankful and happy.

They’re interactive, reusable planners. You can type and save  on your computer, or print and write by hand.

Both are free for members of the Get Organized Wizard Community Forum – which is free, too!

1. Grocery List Template – Interactive

If you need to do some last-minute grocery shopping for Thanksgiving, use this Grocery List Template to keep track of the items you need, by category.

Get it here: Grocery List Template

2. Gratitude Journal – Interactive

Being thankful actually makes you happier, according to a bunch of studies. Any of these will help to increase your happiness:

• Writing about positive events (1)
• Counting your blessings (2)
• Noting 3 good things each day (3).

You can do any or all of these with the Gratitude Journal.

Get it here: Gratitude Journal

So be organized, be grateful, be happy – and bring on the pumpkin pie!

PS The Grocery List Template and Gratitude Journal are among the 550+ planners, to-do lists and schedules available to Ultimate To-Do List Members.

Sources:

(1) Burton, C. M., & King, L. A. (2004). The health benefits of writing about intensely positive experiences. Journal of Research in Personality, 38(2), 150-163.

(2) Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.

(3) Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.

[Image by WishUponACupcake]

Related posts:

1. Gratitude Journal Template: My ‘Happy’ Thanksgiving Gift For You
2. Get Organized For Thanksgiving: Grocery List Template
3. How to be Happier: A Scientifically Proven Strategy that Costs Nada

I bet a lot of people wonder about that!

So here’s an edited version of my reply.

Step 1: Get Your Groove Back

1. Forget about organizing for now, and focus instead on re-building your confidence and motivation.
2. Spend what time and energy you have available on eating well, exercising, and resting.
3. Expose yourself to positive, uplifting books, CDs, people, movies and music. As far as possible without stressing yourself out further, stay away from anything negative or draining.
4. Get a check-up from your doc – who knows what underlying aliment, or even mild depression, might lurk below your malaise.

In short, make your main goal to get your groove back.

Step 2: Get Organized

As soon as you feel an upturn in motivation, even a small one, do at least one of these:

1. Ask a friend, or hire a coach, to help you to clarify your goals. A simple list of 3 things you’d like to achieve is a great start. Then take action on these goals every day.
2. Find a book or audiobook at the library or bookstore on goal-setting and motivation. I love Brian Tracy‘s books myself (Eat That Frog and Goals are faves).
3. Check out my Get Organized Wizard programs:
   -  Life & Goal Organizer is great if you want a self-paced, structured workbook for organizing your life and taking action on your goals
   -  Design Your Life will suit you if who want to be led by the hand and be part of a community as you organize your life and take action on your goals.

The key is to focus on feeling better first, and then to take advantage of your motivation as soon as it returns.

Let me know how you go.

Got A Question On Personal Organization, Productivity or Procrastination?

Post your question on the Get Organized Wizard Community Forums
or on my Facebook Page, where I offer tips, answer questions
and share resources and links. Please come and join me there!

[Image by D'Arcy Norman]

Related posts:

1. 30-Day Organize-athon | Week 1 Prizes For Getting Organized
2. Reality Check: Are You Getting Organized or Just Getting STUFF?
3. Get Organized For Spring: Join The 30-Day Organize-athon!

Here’s a round-up of some good articles and ideas I’ve found recently.

Creativity

A bunch of stuff from Lifehacker on getting organized to get more creative:

• Embrace Organization to Foster Creativity

Tough times

Good tips for avoiding chaos when dealing with tough times from Lifehack:

• How To Stay Organized When Life Throws You a Curveball

False beliefs

How to tap the strange power of being overoptimistic– a fascinating article from Scientific American:

• You Have Superpowers: Scientific American

Happiness

‘Don’t speak!’ Some wise words – to be wise and use fewer words – from Gretchen Rubin:

• Stop Talking, Or, a Happiness Lesson from Sex and the City 2.

Organized workspaces

Post-holiday office tidying tips from Unclutterer:

• Five simple uncluttering tasks

Parenting

The WSJ tells us that good parenting is less work and more fun than people think:

• The Case for Having More Kids – WSJ.com

Impact of donating

You know all that stuff you’re decluttering with 52 Organizing Missions? You can calculate the impact of your donated stuff via the new Donate/Goodwill Movement:

• Calculate your impact

By the way…

I post interesting and useful links on my Facebook Page as I come across them.
Please come and join me there!

Image: Mr. T in DC

Related posts:

1. Procrastination, Productivity, Moving and More: Links & Resources
2. Personal Organization Web Watch [11 October]
3. Get Organized Advice For Messy Teens

Lately I’ve been thinking about change. I’ve observed friends, and felt for myself, the difficulty of navigating through changes that we don’t want, but have no control over – whether it’s a job redundancy, end of a relationship, or some other kind of loss.

I can often identify something like the five stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:

1. Denial: It’ll never happen.

2. Anger: How dare they!

3. Bargaining: If I do this, maybe they’ll change their minds.

4. Depression: What’s the point.

5. Acceptance: I don’t want to rail against this anymore; I can move forward.

It’s a painful cycle!

So I started thinking about an alternative cycle for navigating change that you don’t want, and can’t control. One that takes out some of the pain and eases the transition.

Here’s what I’ve come up with. Instead of stages that you go through, these are self-directed steps that you take. 

5 Steps To Making Peace With Change

1. Embrace Uncertainty

Rather than denial, open yourself up to not knowing how things will turn out. Denial is psychologically exhausting, but acceptance can be too great or too fast a leap.

Instead, aim simply for an absence of expectations, a vacancy. It can be both an uncomfortable and a liberating feeling.

EG:

• I don’t know what will happen with my job
• This relationship might work out, it might not.

2. Cultivate Curiosity

Curiosity is the anti-anger emotion – it’s impossible to feel both at the same time. (Try it next time you’re having a hissy fit; start asking yourself questions and watch the anger dissipate).

Aim to replace angry, railing thoughts with ‘I wonder’ thoughts: I wonder what will happen; I wonder how this will turn out. Don’t rush to answer, but be open to answers if they come.

EG:

• I wonder what other jobs I’d enjoy and be good at
• I wonder how I can be more valuable to my boss
• I wonder who else might be in my future
• I wonder how my life might be different.

3. Take Action

Focusing on things you can’t control keeps you stuck in denial, frustration, and anger – and leads you to despair as you become exhausted by all that pointless emotion. Instead, taking action can break you out of the cycle.

Shift your focus to what you can do – either to prepare for the change, or cope more effectively after it.

EG:

• I’ll ask my boss what I can do to make a better contribution
• I’ll take a class to improve my skills
• I’ll update my CV
• I’ll go out with my friends more, so I don’t feel so dependent on my relationship.

4. Allow For Adjustment

The greater the change, the more likely it is that you’ll need time for your emotions to settle. People are remarkably good at adapting to change, both good and bad, though, so rest assured that you will adjust.

Allow yourself some time to find a new equilibrium, and you’ll likely short-circuit the drama, despair and depression.

EG:

• It’s not what I’d choose, but it might end up being okay
• Things will settle down
• I know people get used to things, I’ll get used to this too.

5. Direct Your Attention

Once you’ve allowed yourself to tolerate uncertainty, then turned your mind to curiosity, taken action, and allowed a little time for adjustment, you can move on to the attention phase.

This is where you consciously direct your attention where it serves you best. You’ve done what you can, now it’s time to put your energy where reality is.

This could mean making the best of a change that’s out of your hands, or finding something new to replace something lost, or venturing into unexplored territory.

EG:

• I no longer have my old job: I’m going to search for the best new job for myself
• Now that I’m in this department, I’m going to focus on finding the good things here for me
• My relationship is over: I’m going to enjoy my friends and develop new hobbies and interests.

Get The Worksheet

If you’re a member of the Get Organized Wizard community forums (they’re filled with hundreds of posts and resources), you can download a 5 Steps To Making Peace With Change Worksheet.

Or become a member now (it’s free).

What Do You Think?

Could these steps help you deal with a change you don’t want and  can’t control? Please share your thoughts!

[Image:by David Reece]

Related posts:

1. How To Change Habits: My 3-Cubed Formula
2. Successful New Year’s Resolutions: 3 Things You Must Know To Achieve Goals and Change Habits
3. Goal Setting 101: How To Use SMART Goals to Change a Habit

If you procrastinate constantly, sabotage yourself, get immobilized by perfectionism, or just feel miserable, then you might be the victim of your own ineffective thinking habits.

In this mission we look at 10 negative thinking habits and use them to spring-clean your thoughts.

Remember: you only need 30 minutes for the basic mission. Extended Options are below.
If you’re new, you might like to start here -> 52 Organizing Missions.

Note: This mission is adapted from e-class 33 of the Happiness Strategies Life Area of our Design Your Life Program.

Get Organized Mission #47:
Declutter Your Thinking Habits

Just as we have habitual ways of driving or dressing, we have idiosyncratic thinking habits.

Sometimes they serve us well. Other times they undermine us in little and big ways  – often without our conscious awareness.

To get rid of these unhelpful thinking styles, we need to recognize the troublemakers and find replacements for them.

So let’s do that now.

Step 1: Identify Your Negative Thinking Habits (10 Mins)

Read carefully through the list of negative thinking habits below, and identify the ones you’re guilty of.

If you habitually think along the lines of an ‘Instead of’ example, then this could be a problem thinking habit for you.

Step 2: Declutter Your Thinking (20 Mins)

Divide a piece of paper into two columns.

For each of the negative thinking habits that you identified in yourself in Step 1:

• In the left-hand column, write down your usual negative thought. It may have a similar feel or theme to the ‘Instead of’ example.
• In the right-hand column, reframe the thought into a more constructive one. The aim is to move away from the thinking style in the description (eg black & white thinking, perfectionism) and toward a thought that’s more supportive of you. Use the ‘Try’ examples to guide and inspire you.

Keep this piece of paper handy and read it every day (say, before bed or on the train to work) until you start to absorb the new thoughts.

Okay, here’s the list.

1. Black & white thinking

Instead of:

· My job totally sucks.

Try:

· My job doesn’t use my skills, but it will pay the bills while I look for something better.

2. Perfectionism

Instead of:

· I have to keep to this diet perfectly – or I’ll never lose weight.

Try:

· Nobody is perfect. I can make the occasional slip with my healthy eating, and still lose weight.

3. Assuming the worst

Instead of:

· I’ll never be able to handle this job – why bother?

Try:

· I’ve done well on most of my previous jobs. I can do well on this one too.

4. Catastrophizing

Instead of:

· The party will be awful and I won’t be able to stand it.

Try:

· The party might push me out of my comfort zone a bit, but I can handle that.

5. Looking on the dark side

Instead of:

· If I speak up people might think I’m egotistical.

Try:

· If I speak up people might think I’ve got some good ideas.

6. Labeling yourself

Instead of:

· I can’t believe I said that – I’m such an idiot.

Try:

· Wow – I said a pretty dumb thing today.

7. Being over-dramatic

Instead of:

· The rain ruined my favorite shoes – this is a disaster!

Try:

· I’m really disappointed that my favorite shoes are ruined, but I’ll get over it in a few days.

8. Deflecting positives and compliments

Instead of:

· This old thing? I only wear it to distract people from my colossal ears.

Try:

· Thank you!

9. Taking things personally

Instead of:

· That salesperson was rude to me – now I feel awful.

Try:

· That salesperson doesn’t even know me. She may be having a bad day.

10. Taking feelings as facts

Instead of:

· I feel upset by what he said – he’s so mean!

Try:

· I’m sometimes over-sensitive, so it’s possible he wasn’t being mean.

Okay – now it’s your turn!

Dos & Don’ts

• Don’t get bogged down with the names or categories of negative thinking habits – these are just simplifying devices.
• Do focus instead on identifying habitual, unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more constructive ones.

Extended Organizing Mission Options

Want to go beyond this 30-minute organizing mission?

• Do this mission with a bunch of friends. Support and encourage each other in identifying negative thinking habits in Step 1, and brainstorming replacement thoughts in Step 2.
• Do this mission with your kids. Help them to identify their unhelpful thinking habits, and teach them how to come up with better options.

Ready, Set, Go!

Remember – move quickly, act fast, don’t overthink.

Start The 30-Minute Timer

Before You Go: Check In!

Please add a comment to say you’ve completed this week’s Get Organized Mission and you’re keeping your commitment.

And see you back here next week!

Organize Your Happiness!

The Happiness Strategies life area of Design Your Life helps you learn how to be happier. Most of the material comes from my happiness research and thesis, where I learned we can do a lot to boost our own happiness level. As someone who wasn’t ‘born happy’ but has learned to be, I use these strategies daily.

There are e-classes on: Having a Happiness Mindset; Creating a Happy Life; Developing Strategies for Happiness; and Releasing Barriers to Happiness. Plus there’s a bonus e-booklet, How To Be Wise & Happy.

When you sign up for Design Your Life you can start straight away on the Happiness Strategies life area (you’ll have immediate access to the first 8 modules, including Health & Fitness, Home Organization, Personal Development, Business & Career and Personal Presentation).

SPECIAL OFFER: Join today for lifetime benefits at a one-off special rate. Learn more.

[Image: by gutter]

Related posts:

1. How To Declutter Your To-Do List [Organizing Mission #43]
2. Organizing Mission #39: Declutter Your Surfaces
3. How To Change Habits: My 3-Cubed Formula

I love reading Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor (he was played by Richard Harris in Gladiator). His Meditations overflow with wise precepts.

But these 12 words are my most favorite:

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.

Like Buddha’s ‘With our thoughts we make the world’, they’re a pithy nutshell reminding us of the power of our minds over the matter of our lives.

If simply using old-related words makes you walk more slowly, then just imagine the effect of that non-stop mental tirade on how you live, and how you feel.

I certainly notice a cause-and-effect relationship between my thoughts and my happiness.

• If I feel sorry for myself, it’s because I’ve been thinking ‘poor me’
• If I’m angry, it’s because I’ve been focusing on who’s to blame
• If I’m sad, it’s because I’ve been dwelling on something negative
• If I’m worried, it’s because I’ve been ruminating on what might happen, and how awful it would be.

Of course different emotions are part of life, but here I’m talking about the overall quality of our lives, the main palette of our feelings. A preponderance of grays might point to some cloudy thinking.

I love those 12 words of Marcus Aurelius’. But the three words that follow turn the quote into a warning.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly…

Are you guarding the quality of your thoughts?

[Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexsemenzato/ / CC BY-ND 2.0]

Related posts:

1. How to be Organized in 2009: Day 8 – Strategies for Happiness
2. How To Feel Happier Now? Face It!
3. 5 Cool Things To Do This Summer

 

Happy Thanksgiving
To All My American Friends And Readers!

I’d like to offer you a little gift that seems just right for a day of giving thanks.

It’s an interactive Gratitude Journal Template: a downloadable, single-page PDF for listing all the things you’re grateful for – or at least 40 of them.

The cool thing is that just by using this list, you’re more likely to have a happy Thanksgiving, because happiness is related to gratitude.

How? Well, psychologists have found many ways that thankfulness boosts contentment, including:

• Writing about positive events (1)
• Counting blessings (2)
• Noting three good things each day (3).

You can do any or all of these by typing into this template and saving it to your computer, or printing out and writing. Either way it’s re-usable, so you can use it every day or every week to keep those grateful feelings flowing – and the happiness happening.

Scroll down to ‘Gratitude Journal Template’ on my Resources page.

(This list is from my Ultimate To-Do List Pack | Personal Edition and the Design Your Life e-program.)

May your day be happy and your pumpkin pie plentiful!

Sources:

(1) Burton, C. M., & King, L. A. (2004). The health benefits of writing about intensely positive experiences. Journal of Research in Personality, 38(2), 150-163.

(2) Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.

(3) Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.

[Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vintagehalloweencollector/ / CC BY-ND 2.0]

Related posts:

1. Get Organized For A Happy Thanksgiving (With 2 Thank-You Gifts For You)
2. How to be Happier: A Scientifically Proven Strategy that Costs Nada
3. Get Organized For Thanksgiving: Grocery List Template

[Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kretyen/ / CC BY 2.0]

According to a recent Scientific American article, a number of studies suggest our feelings are strengthened, perhaps even stimulated, by the faces we make.

Don’t Frown, Be Happy

In one study, frown-impaired Botox injectees felt happier than people who were free to frown. And the botoxers didn’t feel any more attractive, in case you’re thinking that would account for their mood lift.

One of the researchers, Michael Lewis, said:

It would appear that the way we feel emotions isn’t just restricted to our brain—there are parts of our bodies that help and reinforce the feelings we’re having.

I Frown, Therefore I’m Cranky

In another study, people who frowned during an unpleasant situation felt more pain than those who kept their faces neutral or relaxed. People with calmer faces experienced less distress.

What We Can Do Differently

The article goes on to say that deliberately suppressing negative emotions can lead to those feelings leaking out in other ways. Sounds messy.

Instead, smarter dos and don’ts might be:

Don’t let your face exaggerate

If something’s bad, feel it – but avoid overdoing the drama.

Don’t let the long face linger too long

Feel it, then let it go.

Smile

It might just strengthen your happiness. Try it now!

Related posts:

1. How to be Happier: A Scientifically Proven Strategy that Costs Nada
2. Get Organized in 5 Minutes: Flick Negative Feelings
3. 2009: A Happier, More Organized Year

The reader raised the issue of our tendency to backslide when we try to make a fresh start, and wondered what we could do about it.

Here are some brief thoughts.

Why Self-Improvement is Like Slaying Vampires

1. Whenever we try to change or improve, we come up against pressure to regress to old, comfortable ways.

This is to be expected. Entropy rules in human nature, just as it does in the rest of the universe. New habits take work, as new pathways need to be forged in the brain.

2. Because of this, we have to be kind to ourselves when we backslide – we’re only human after all.

Pretending the resistance isn’t there, or beating ourselves up for our lack of willpower is simply denying reality.

3. But – and this is important – we also have to recognize that to be happy, and to enjoy a sense of progress and achievement in life, we have to keep working to maintain our gains, and to fight off the urge to regress.

Change is not a set-and-forget switch, it’s an ongoing process. We’re never done!

If you’ve ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, this analogy might help:
To fulfill your destiny, you have to keep killing the vampires. They never stop, so neither can you.

Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fluffgar/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Related posts:

1. Make a Fresh Start: 12 Days of New Beginnings
2. Fresh Start: 12 Days of New Beginnings [Day 8: Happiness]
3. 20 Things To Tick Off Before The End Of The Year

I’m going to make 12 fresh starts in 12 life areas over the next 12 days.

I don’t expect to succeed at everything, but I want to give a bunch of things a try. Join me!

Day 1: Personal Development

My Day 1 Fresh Start was to raise my weights in Body Pump class for biceps and shoulders.

Report:

✔ Raised weights on days I’ve had Pump class. Starting to regain form, too.

Day 2: Health & Fitness

My Day 2 Fresh Start was to give up Smith’s Cheese & Onion Chips – at least for September.

Report:

✔ Seven days chip-sober – this is a record for me! Surely I’ve earned some kind of token by now?

Day 3: Career & Business

My Day 3 Fresh Start was to refresh my website’s home page.

Report:

✔ Trying out a new home page. (Feedback very welcome – please leave a comment!)

Day 4: Fun & Recreation

My Day 4 Fresh Start was to listen to more fun music – rather than only podcasts and audiobooks.

Report:

✔ Loved my all-music Friday and plan to make it a weekly treat.

Day 5: Technology & Social Media

My Day 5 Fresh Start was to promote my new Facebook Professional Service Page.

Report:

✔ Sent a Page Suggestion to my Facebook friends on day 4, and have continued to promote my Page this week. (Please join if you like this stuff!)

Day 6: Home

My Day 6 Fresh Start was to decide which of the two printers in my home office were better for my needs, and to remove the other.

Report:

✔ This was a hard decision because one printer has better function, the other better form. In this case I’m prepared to keep the less pretty one *bites knuckle* in order to have the feature benefits.

It feels great to get that decision made and my home office cleared.

Day 7: Personal Presentation

My Day 7 Fresh Start was to focus on my posture – holding my shoulders back, core muscles in, and chin up.

Report:

✔✖ I’ve been doing this intermittently, but it’s hard to stay aware. From tomorrow I’m going to wear a ring that’s a little irritating as a reminder – every time I adjust the ring, I’ll be reminded to straighten my posture.

Day 8: Happiness

Today my fresh start is from category 2 (see below): To give up something.

I’m going to give up watching movies that are ‘poignant’, ‘tragic’ or ‘heart-wrenching’. In the past I’ve chosen movies for the caliber of the writing, direction or performances, but no more! If it’s going to make me miserable, I’m going to pass. (I made this decision years ago about novels, and have felt much happier for it.)

Tomorrow I make my ninth fresh start – in the Money & Finance life area. See you then!

What About You?

Think of your own Happiness goals and plans.

if you want some inspiration, you might find some here:

• 5 People Who Aren’t Responsible For Your Happiness
• 11 Great Reasons To Be Happy
• Get Organized Mission #7: Be Happy!
• How to be Happier: A Scientifically Proven Strategy that Costs Nada

In what area could you:

• Start something new – or try something you haven’t done, eaten, read, or experienced before
• Give up something – maybe a habit that undermines you or an obligation that weighs you down
• Do more of something – be specific about ‘more’, but don’t be overly-ambitious
• Do less of something – be specific about ‘less’, but don’t be overly-ambitious

I hope you’ll choose something and join me!

Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/caseywest/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Related posts:

1. Fresh Start: 12 Days of New Beginnings [Day 6: Home]
2. Fresh Start: 12 Days of New Beginnings [Day 7: Personal Presentation]
3. Fresh Start: 12 Days of New Beginnings [Day 10: Relationships]

Here are 10 simple things to do before bed that help to make the morning a good one.

Organize Your Evening Ritual: 10 Things To Do At Night For A Good Morning

1. Do a quick tidy up.

Put things away and straighten up a little. It will make all the difference to wake up and see a sense of order in your home.

2. Preempt things that cause morning panic.

Attack the trouble areas the night before. Coffee beans in the machine? Work outfit decided? Kids’ schoolbags packed?

3. Prepare the breakfast zone.

Set the table and create a pleasant vibe in the dining area. Flowers, a pot plant or bright placemats can help make a cheery start to your day.

4. Make a list of things to handle tomorrow.

Get niggles onto a list – it will make room in your head for sweet dreams.

5. Set the alarm (if you need it).

Allow enough time to get ready and be where you need to be without stressing yourself out.

6. Do something relaxing for 30 minutes before bed.

That means switching off from work, the news and serial killer novels. Watch something pleasant on TV, chat with the family or curl up with a relaxing book.

7. Brush and floss your teeth.

Ward off dental woes and go to sleep all nice and minty.

8. Wash your face.

If you wear make up you’ll avoid the dreaded morning raccoon-eye. Plus you’ll keep your pillow-case fresh – a bonus for your skin.

9. Say goodnight

Share a goodnight wish or kiss with family members, a housemate or even your fave social network. It will make you smile, and smiling makes you feel good.

10. Think of things you’re grateful for.

Do this while going off to sleep. Feeling grateful is linked with greater happiness. Plus it’s lovely note on which to end the day.

Do you have a nighttime ritual? Do share – but um, this is a G-rated blog, so keep it wholesome.

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Want some cool tools for organizing your personal life?
Check out our The Ultimate To-Do List Pack | Personal Edition.

Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joshrothman/ / CC BY-ND 2.0

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1. Get Organized for Better Productivity: Design a Productivity Ritual
2. Create Your ‘Organized Life Morning Routine’ [Mission #21]
3. Get Organized Mission #14: Organize Your Household Notebook

There are some people to whom you really shouldn’t delegate responsibility for your happiness. Don’t worry – there are only five.

1. Your spouse

You’ve committed yourself to your spouse for life. Doesn’t that entitle you to their undying efforts to keep you happy?

Thankfully, no.

Relying on your spouse to keep your happiness butterflies a-flutter is too much of a burden on them. Plus, it denies you one of the most valuable skills there is: the ability to make yourself happy.

Enjoy the ways your spouse contributes to your happiness, but don’t expect them to be its only source.

2. Your children

Isn’t it every parent’s hope to raise capable, independent children?

The way you are with them will affect the way they are in the world. Are you modeling self-responsibility or leaning a little too hard?

3. Your parents

This one tends to get inverted, with people not so much expecting parents to make them happy as blaming parents for their unhappiness.

Let’s face it though: blame is the flip-side of responsibility. If you’re blaming, you’re dodging responsibility.

However good, bad or hideous your parents were in the past, don’t let that stop you grabbing the baton and changing to a happier direction today.

4. Your employer or boss

It’s a shocking truth for any employee to face, but your personal conveniences and preferences are unlikely to be integral to your employers’ mission statement.

They are responsible for shareholders’ happiness. You are responsible for yours.

5. Your friends

As Mr T never said (but should have), “I pity the fool who expects their friends to make them happy”. Because the friends don’t stay around too long.

As with the preceding relationships, it’s too much pressure on the other person to be responsible for your happiness. Share your joys and sorrows with friends, but don’t outsource your personal fulfillment.

In short

Develop the skills of happiness for yourself – it’s a benefit to others and an asset to you. Why would you want to leave that to anyone else?

Related stuff:

• Article: How To Be Happier
• Post: 11 Great Reasons To Be Happy
• 52 Missions: Get Organized Mission #7 | Be Happy!

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Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/ / CC BY 2.0

Related posts:

1. Fresh Start: 12 Days of New Beginnings [Day 8: Happiness]
2. How to be Organized in 2009: Day 8 – Strategies for Happiness
3. Organizing Q & A | How To Deal With OPD – Other People’s Disorganization: My Top 3 Tips

Welcome to the seventh of our 52 Organizing Missions.

So far we’ve spent our 30-minute missions decluttering our homes, detoxing our handbags, briefcases and cars, sorting our bills and messages, and saying no to free stuff we simply don’t need.

This week we deserve a reward! So this week’s mission is all about being happy.

Yep, we’re going to spend some time noticing the things we enjoy and then (here’s the shocking part) doing them!!

Please don’t neglect this mission. I promise you’ll be glad you ignored the little voice in your head telling you this stuff is frivolous or selfish. The little voice might be surprised to discover that happiness is linked to a bunch of benefits for you and for your family, workmates, employers, friends and community.

Remember – you only need 30 minutes for the basic mission. Extended Options are below.

Get Organized Mission #7: Be Happy!

Step 1:

List 10 Things That Make You Happy (15 minutes)

First, download the Happiness Strategy: Pleasure List.

Happiness Strategy Pleasure.pdf
(96.08 KB)

(This list is from our Ultimate To-Do List Pack | Personal Edition.)

The list is interactive, so you can type into the fields and save the filled list on your computer. Or print and write if you’d rather.

Now, fill in the list – which means coming up with at least 10 things you like to do.

Here are some ideas to get you going:

• Take a bubble bath
• Daggy dance to 80s tunes
• Read a detective novel
• Watch a fave TV show on DVD
• Go for a walk somewhere pretty
• Listen to your iPod in the garden
• People-watch in a cafe
• See an action film
• Play a computer game
• Do a jigsaw puzzle

Next, come up with at least one way you can do each item more often.

Keep your list somewhere handy – it’ll be a good resource next time you want a mood booster.

Step 2:

Pick One Thing From The List – And Do It! (15 minutes)

That’s right – you are required by the terms of 52 Organizing Missions to finish your 30 minutes doing something that makes you happy. Deal with it.

Dos & Don’ts

• Don’t labor over your list. Write down whatever pops into your mind
• Do give yourself permission to do things you enjoy. Remember – it’s not only you who benefits from your happiness.

Extended Organizing Mission Options

Want to go beyond this 30-minute organizing mission?

• Download extra copies and come up with 20, 30 or 50 things you enjoy, and ways to do them more often.
• Download extra copies for the whole family. Brainstorm together, suggesting ideas for each other. Teaching your kids to know what make them happy and to rely more on themselves for happiness, and less on external highs, can be a precious life skill.
• Keep your lists on hand for regular self-therapy. If you feel a little down or need a mood boost, you’ll know where to look.

Ready, Set, Go!

Remember – move quickly, act fast, don’t overthink.

Before You Go – Please Check In

You’re now accountable to your organizing mission-mates! Once you’ve completed this week’s Get Organized Mission please add a comment to let us know you’ve done your assignment and you’re keeping your commitment. (Click ‘Comment’ at the very top of this post or scroll down to the bottom. Depending on how you’re viewing this post, one of those options will be available for you.)

And see you back here next week!

UPDATE:

You can now get your weekly organizing mission delivered to your inbox. Click here to sign up for 52 Organizing Missions.

Image by {dpade1337}

Related stuff:

• Article: How To Be Happier
• Post: 11 Great Reasons To Be Happy

Did you like this post? Please social bookmark it using the buttons below!

Related posts:

1. 11 Great Reasons To Be Happy
2. Get Organized For Fitness [Mission #38]
3. Set Yes Priorities – And Know When To Say No [Get Organized Mission #35]

During that year I learned many fabulous, life-changing things about being happy – even for people who aren’t ‘born happy’ – and I’ll share these with you over time.

One of the most wonderful things I learned is that being happy doesn’t just feel good – it’s also associated with all kinds of benefits for you, and for people around you.

That means we can all feel good about choosing to be happier. It’s not a selfish goal, but rather a way to be, do and give more in our world.

Here are 11 of the advantages that go along with happiness – and 11 great reasons to be happy!

11 Great Reasons To Be Happy

Happiness is associated with:

1. Physical & mental health
2. Coping well
3. Being resilient in tough times
4. Work satisfaction
5. Good relationships with colleagues, friends and loved ones
6. Living a long life
7. Having a strong immune system
8. Liking yourself
9. Liking others
10. Altruism
11. Handling conflict well

Here’s a bonus reason to be happy:

12.  It feels great!

Add a little sunshine to your own life, and you’ll spread more sunshine too!

Source: Lyubomirsky, S., King, L. A., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131, 803-855.

Image by irina`

Related stuff:

• Article: How To Be Happier
• 52 Missions: Get Organized Mission #7 | Be Happy!

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1. 3 Great Reasons To Start Today
2. Get Organized For A Happy Thanksgiving (With 2 Thank-You Gifts For You)
3. Gratitude Journal Template: My ‘Happy’ Thanksgiving Gift For You

The 12 Days of New Year’s Resolutions

This is Day 8 of The 12 Days of New Year’s Resolutions for Better Personal Organization

I’m spending 12 days posting ideas for new year’s resolutions you might like to choose for yourself. Each day focuses on a different life area.

Remember: go for progress, not perfection.

Following is an edited extract from the introduction to Module 8: Strategies for Happiness in Get Organized Wizard for Smart Women. 

Day 8: Organize your Strategies for Happiness

Do you want to be happy? Of course – we all do! So what do you do to create your own happiness? Is it something you cultivate, or do just hope it shows up in your life? Is that proving an effective strategy?

Before you protest that pursuing your own happiness is selfish, check out the list of ways that happiness makes you less of a drain and more of an asset to your family, friends, workplace, society, even world!

Happiness is linked to physical health, mental health, better coping skills, long life, greater resilience, work satisfaction, good relationships with colleagues, friends and loved ones, immune system strength, self-liking, altruism, liking others and conflict management.

That means you can feel really good about making happiness a goal for yourself. Happiness isn’t just an end in itself; it’s also a means to being, doing, and giving more. So let’s get organized to be happier!

Happiness mindset

• Cognitive strategies
  Is it time to upgrade negative thinking habits? Target black & white thinking, perfectionism, assuming the worst, catastrophizing, labeling, being a drama queen, taking things personally, deflecting positives, assuming feelings are facts, etc.
• Beliefs
  What negative beliefs do you hold about yourself, your life and your future? Come up with more empowering beliefs. Challenging your negative beliefs can powerfully affect your happiness.
• Optimism
  Are you pessimistic about yourself, your life, your future? If you want more optimism, make it a point to notice unhelpful mental habits and choose better ones. Awareness starts you thinking differently.

Strategies for happiness

According to psychology research, the following areas are linked to happiness.

• Gratitude
  This may be one of the most effective happiness strategies there is. Make it your thing in 2009 to have an ‘attitude of gratitude’.
• Strengths
  Think about your particular strengths (ask a friend if you’re not sure what they are). Plan ways to use them more in your life.
• Resilience
  How can you do some DIY resilience boosting? Consider nurturing self-esteem, having a supportive network of friends, thinking positively, being more optimistic, expressing yourself and avoiding too much stress.
• Mood boosters
  For times when things go wrong or you feel down, have a list of little pleasures for cheering yourself up. Build an inventory of mood boosters.
• Kindness
  Psychology research suggests that kindness and happiness are related. Explore opportunities for greater kindness in your life.

Releasing barriers to happiness

Following are attitudes and tendencies that can sour your thoughts and make happiness almost impossible – so release them!

• Worry
  If this is a problem you want to to address this year, how might you approach tackling worry?
• Grudges
  It’s time to gain awareness of grudges you hold against yourself or others, and to start to let go.
• Cynicism
  Cynicism can destroy your capacity for joy. Turn your focus to enjoyment, beauty, wonder, curiosity, and seeing the good in others. Don’t be a slave to cynicism.
• Negativity
  Address the negative things you say to others about yourself, your appearance, your abilities, the world, other people and life. Acknowledge you’re ready to stop, and you’ll start to change.
• Negative self-talk
  Target the negative things you say to yourself about you, your appearance, your abilities, the world, people and life. Becoming aware of your negative self-talk helps you change it.

Question: What area of your Happiness Strategies will you work on in 2009?

Note for users of Happiness Wizard and Get Organized Wizard for Smart Women

Your Wizard contains guided worksheets for each one of these items, plus others, as well as additional prompts, ideas and suggestions to help you organize each one.

Tomorrow - Day 9: Money & Finance

Picture adapted from image by Aldon.

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Related posts:

1. How to be Organized in 2009: The 12 Days of New Year’s Resolutions
2. How to be Organized in 2009: Day 10 – Relationships
3. 2009: A Happier, More Organized Year

Let’s be honest, though. For most of us computer-addicted, latte-sipping, iPhone-using Chicken-Littles, the impact of the falling firmament is not as dramatic as the lamenting and sighing and woe-is-me-ing would suggest.

But how do we keep perspective when everyone around us is crying cataclysm?

Get Organized for Recession-Proof Happiness: Using Humor to Change your Perspective

When I’m in danger of thinking I’ve got big problems, I find humor the quickest, most direct way to show up my skewed perspective.

Here are three of my favorite humorific reminders*:

1. Teenage affluenza is spreading fast

Although this video isn’t new, it’s certainly timely in prodding us to see the dire economic situation from a different perspective. It’s worth the five minutes, I promise!

2. The Indignities of Coach Class

Humor is also how David Rakoff’s essay collection makes a point about our culture of excess. The title is all you need to get that jerk of realization:

Now, Don’t Get Too Comfortable:
The Indignities of Coach Class, the Torments of Low Thread Count, the Never-ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems.

First world problems? Urban Dictionary defines them as:

Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.

What was that? Oh – just the sensation of boot hitting butt.

3. Once more with feeling

Lastly, a little technique I use when thinking I have it tough, is to say aloud, in the whiniest voice I can muster, one of these:

• Why is life so cruel!
• Why must such terrible things always happen to me!
• How can I be expected to go on!

It never fails to yank me back to reality.

So consider vaccinating yourself against recession-gloom with a little injection of perspective-shifting humor.

Disclaimer

Now I’m not saying our economic problems aren’t real – plenty of evidence suggests they are.

I’m simply suggesting that for most of us, the sky will still be there.
And compared to much of the world, it will remain very blue.

Question: How do you keep your perspective when everyone else is getting their gloom on?

* If my long-term readers are feeling a bit deja vu-y, it’s because I previously referenced the first two items in my Happiness Strategies post: Happiness Life Strategy: Recognize that most of your problems are first-world problems

Image by ishrona

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Gratitude makes you happier

Psychologists have scientifically tested (yep, we’re talking unwitting participants, experiments, statistical analysis, peer-reviewed journals) whether appreciating good things leads to greater happiness. And guess what – it does!

They’ve found many ways thankfulness boosts contentment, including:

• writing about positive events (1)
• counting blessings (2)
• noting three good things each day (3)

Get Organized for your personal thanksgiving

Just reflect regularly on your good stuff you’ll be on the path to a happier life. Here are some ways you can organize yourself to get more grateful:

1. Start a journal for recording the good things that happen to you.
2. Wear a ring on a different finger, put your watch on the other hand or plant post-it notes everywhere – anything to remind you to actively notice and appreciate your blessings.
3. Set a daily recurring task in Outlook to flag three positives a day. 

Get in the mood to think thankful. Here, I’ll start…

10 things I’m grateful for

(in no particular order)

1. Living in Sydney, a beautiful city
2. Ziggy, my iPod, whom I love with a passion that borders on objectophilia
3. Chocolate
4. Books – literature, detective novels, science, psychology, and heaps more!
5. Cliff, my espresso machine, who eases my tortured transition from sleep to wakefulness every day
6. Arrested Development, Friends, 30 Rock, Buffy, which have given me countless hours of laughter
7. My amazing, talented, kind friends
8. Stephen Hawking
9. Xander, my laptop
10. The internet

Now it’s your turn. What are you grateful for? C’mon share! It’ll make us both happy.

References

(1) Burton, C. M., & King, L. A. (2004). The health benefits of writing about intensely positive experiences. Journal of Research in Personality, 38(2), 150-163.

(2) Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.

(3) Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.

Image by Fern R

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