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If you’re married and both of you have busy lives, you might find it difficult to fit your schedules together. Fortunately, there are some ways you can do that, so you have more time together and can still accomplish your individual goals, as well. Here are some of the main things to think about when you’re trying to get your schedule to fit in with your spouse’s.
1. Plan Your Schedule Ahead of Time
When you plan things in advance, you both can set aside time in your schedule for each other. That means you can do things together, and your time off will coincide with your spouse’s time off. That’s a great way to enjoy being with one another without being worried about work or other commitments. When you plan out things in advance, write them down and make sure you don’t forget them. Even if you don’t mean to forget, it can feel hurtful to your spouse. Writing things down reduces that risk.
2. When You Plan Time Together, Make No Exceptions
Whether you plan a day trip or just a meal out, make sure you don’t cancel it. Spending time with your spouse is very important when you want to bond with them and stay connected as a couple. If you’ve planned things out and written them down as a part of your schedule, you should be able to spend that time together. A true emergency could take you away from that commitment, but that’s the only time you should make an exception.
3. Touch Base Every Week
During that time, you can both plan ahead and set up your calendars. Also, talk about any grievances or problems you have during that time. You don’t want to let those things just keep building up. A small issue can feel like a big one if it’s allowed to sit for too long. By talking about it, you can resolve the issue and move forward. But be sure you’re working together to solve the problem. It’s not supposed to be a fight. It’s supposed to be an honest discussion to handle anything before it might turn into something to fight about.
4. Support Each Other, But Don’t Sacrifice Too Much of Yourself
Even if you don’t see each other much during certain times because of your schedules, you should still support one another verbally. A quick text or phone call, a note in your spouse’s lunch, or other small things can really go a long way toward helping your spouse feel supported and cared for. Keep in mind, though, that you also need support in return. Both of you also need to remember the saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
In other words, you can’t give to others if you don’t have anything to give — and when you sacrifice sleep or exhaust yourself, that can happen. Make sure you aren’t sacrificing who you are. You should get enough sleep, and still have some “me time” in your schedule, too. If you plan ahead and work together, you can balance work, spending time with one another, and all the other things you like to do, as well.
5. Remember That the Little Things Really Are the Big Things
Little things add up. Whether it’s minor annoyances that can build up and make you angry, or small gestures that really leave you feeling loved and appreciated, the little things matter. By reaching out to your spouse with small gestures, little gifts, or anything you know they would like, you’re letting them know you love and care for them, even if your schedules don’t always give you the amount of time together that you’d really like to have.
6. Cherish Spontaneity When It Occurs
Sometimes, planning just goes out the window. Maybe your meeting got canceled so you get to come home early, and it’s your spouse’s day off. That can leave you with a rare opportunity to spend time together that wasn’t planned. Make the most of it, but don’t feel pressure to do something fancy. You might just want to sit and cuddle, have a nice dinner, take a walk, or even go shopping. Whatever the two of you decide to do together, just enjoy the spontaneity of the moment and appreciate the chance to have some extra connection with each other that you might not have gotten otherwise. Those moments are so important.